NUTLEY, NJ—Recounting the participants’ unwavering, single-minded focus throughout the three-hour event, local man Ross Harrison, who declined to join his friends’ fantasy football league, told reporters Friday he immediately regretted attending their draft party last night.

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Why did women suddenly respond with enthusiasm rather than distaste?

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Getting it Going Turning Up the Heat Community Q&A All girls are different and are turned on by different things, so you will need to individualize the things you say to the girl you are saying them to; however, there are a few words of advice that can turn on almost any girl, provided that you're already dating.

Make sure you have a good amount of time to talk to the girl, as a slow, sexy pace will achieve much better results than a rushed one.

WESTFORD, MA—Admitting that she couldn’t fully describe the enigmatic allure that drew her to him, local woman Laura Saracen told reporters Wednesday there was just something dark and intriguing about 34-year-old Tyler Evans, a man with a serious personality disorder.

SEATTLE—According to a survey conducted Friday of Americans visiting scenic waterways across the nation, 97 percent of individuals currently floating down a lazy, winding river in an inflatable rubber tube agreed that it doesn’t get any better than this. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

“My friend and I just made a bet and we want you to settle it. ” I’d just read some pick-up advice that told me to approach girls in bars with that question. They even began debating each other and trying to argue their viewpoints playfully to me.