male population is immature, has the IQ of their shoe size, or that there's a spotlight on your house leading lousy men to your doorstep. If you harbor scared feelings, trusting another person with something as precious as your heart becomes mighty tough. If you're tired of attracting bad men like a moth to a flame, it's time to figure out what question you're trying to answer by dating this sort of men.

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Repeatedly choosing the wrong guys signals that you may be driven to re-create the drama you had with your father or first boyfriend.

Many women who had an absentee dad or let the arrogant JV football captain string them along for years will go for men who are unavailable or talk down to them because they're subconsciously trying to resolve things with the guy who let them down earlier in life, says Dunn — even though, clearly, that's not solving anything.

Therefore, the first thing to do when entering into a relationship (or improving one, for that matter) is to take a look at yourself and at the history of your relationships.

What are the qualities that you typically look for in a partner?

How are we supposed to know when our attractions should be warning signs?

What qualities should we steer away from when we don’t even know a person yet?

Outwardly, I told myself I was having fun and it was just a matter of time before someone wanted to settle down; inside, I started to worry that I wasn't lovable or exciting enough. He'd recently emerged from a divorce and onto a dating site where I'd been lurking.

need to be the Brazilian in your relationship." By that, she meant I needed a solid guy I could rely on. She had a point, but the kind of guy she described sounded so boring I figured I'd be better off getting a dog. I passed over his profile, which depicted an earnest guy with bright blue-gray eyes wearing an old Guatemalan sweater. There were no witty phrases in his e-mails, no sense that he was teetering on that razor's edge between genius and madness.

Women in these toxic patterns get hooked on the ups and downs of their relationships and can form what experts call betrayal bonds, which cause them to feel even more attached to men who show them these extreme — and sometimes ultimately dangerous — forms of attention.

"You eventually feel like a guy doesn't love you unless he's either yelling in your face or trying to win you back," Dunn says.

Are you trying to figure out if HE will leave you too?