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I consider an “adult child” someone who was raised by child-like parents, insecure, needy, narcissistic parents; parents who were unable to assist their children in forming their own, independent sense of self during childhood.
Rather than nurturing their child’s sense of self, these parents used their child to attempt to uplift their own vulnerable ego. Ideally, every baby born into this world is surrounded by unselfish, patient love and nurturing from at least one or two parents.
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This comes primarily form the mother in the very beginning, who is supported by a loving, consistent partner.
It’s important from birth to around age 3 that the family environment maintains itself as loving and consistent–that is, free of chaos.
I receive a lot of emails from people who are in a relationship with an adult child of alcoholics.
They are trying to understand the person they love, or are trying to love, but they don’t know how to decipher the code of adult children of alcoholics.
This post describes what it’s like to grow up in an alcoholic family.