I never expected it to be more than a summer fling, but things escalated quickly. "And I can't marry a non-Jew."I then explained the concept of a -something that would bring shame upon oneself, one's family, and the entire Jewish community.

On our fourth date I informed him in no uncertain terms, "This can't go anywhere.""Why? Based on my upbringing, I would feel guilty for betraying generations of Jewish martyrs who had died so that I could be free to be Jewish.

He also believed that marriage was "tough enough as it is" and "easier if you start with a common culture, religion, and values." Years ago, my father threatened to disown my older sister if she married her non-Jewish boyfriend.

Call it media exploitation and a Hallmark Holiday, but you’re stuck. So let us know ahead of time that you’re planning something because otherwise we’ll (naturally) start freaking out, and perhaps (G-d forbid) suggest something for us to do on V-day, which spoils the whole fun of YOU thinking of the something special.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate, or even cost anything.

Nothing says Ayshet Chayil like her ability to lovingly prepare a Seder plate. Don't think this means Jewish women are controlling.

Your wife is just highly efficient and on top of everything, from remembering your mom's birthday to telling you when your car is due for an MOT.

(With advance notice and a little cajoling, of course, because we're independent, busy people, too.)Behold: all the reasons why Jewish girls make the best wives.

Sorry to start with the obvious, but it's got to be stated.

If you can, buy your jewelry from TC Jewfolk’s store so we get a percentage (4-10%) of your Valentine’s Day love. We’re a people of hand gestures and loud talking – we want a card that screams I love you! I can only write about what I know, as a straight female Jewess.

We’ve picked out a few pieces we think she’ll like. Other big things (like large bouquets or helium teddy bear balloons) are also good ideas.

Or go to the closest flower garden, hold our hands amidst the roses and remind us why you love us. Even if your fabulous Jewess is not a yoga mama, or a health food conscious co-op member, she’s still trying to steer away from increasing the size of her hips. But this is not the time to get her those kind of things. She knows you love her food, but those gifts aren’t romantic. When it comes to nice gifts, jewelry is a good bet, unless you’re scrimping and saving this year and buying luxuries will make your Jewess freak out. Don’t hold back, but realize that these days, you can get a stunning bouquet at Bachman’s or any flower shop for (maybe less). (Photo: Vicki Wolkins Photography) *FYI – BIG CAVEAT to this post. If you’re a gay or lesbian Jew reading this post, please let us know what this holiday means – or doesn’t mean – to you.