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The findings, to be published in the November edition of ‘Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin’, concluded that men find the propect of dating intelligent women intimidating.The study, carried out by researchers the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University and University of Texas, Austin, posits that men’s attraction to certain traits in women can be directly affected by how realistic a romantic prospect their potential lover is.
But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed. I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person.
I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life.
I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents.
Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
To figure out where the gender ratio is most skewed in each direction, we went right to the data.
We know from our consumer survey about love and housing that not all singles are equally in demand, at least when it comes to dating.
We also subtracted estimates of the gay and lesbian population in order to focus on men and women interested in dating someone of the opposite sex; check out our Welcome to the Gayborhood post if that’s news you can use.
Finally, we excluded people older than 65 since differences in life expectancy skew the gender ratio in the later years.
Among unmarried adults, 62 percent prefer to date someone who lives alone; only 14 percent prefer to date someone who lives with other people.
Perhaps living alone sends the right signal about independence and availability – or perhaps living alone just makes dating easier (does anyone really want to hear their mom ask, "Honey, can I make you and your friend some pancakes? Whatever the reason, we get it: so we looked at the ratio of men living alone to women living alone in order to assess the dating scene.
(Just ask my grandfather, who was very popular in the Miami Beach coffee shop scene back in the day.) How did we do this? Where the Boys Are Women looking for single men should try their odds in Vegas, where the ratio of men living alone to women living alone is the highest among the 100 largest metros: 1.34. San Jose, it turns out, also has plenty of men to choose from, with 1.23 men for every woman.