I’d be more inclined to respond if his email was more upbeat.”-Alicia, 30, Philadelphia“All guys should avoid any reference to ‘the little man.’ Otherwise, Eric gets points for humor, but if he’d weep if everything in my profile wasn’t entirely true, I’d be afraid what he’d do if I turned him down for a second date.”-Christine, 35, Los Angeles, CA“I like the intelligence it shows, but it feels like he takes the joke too far.

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ou’ve spotted a profile online you’re smitten with. I’m afraid that if it turns out to not be true, I might wind up in the middle of the Lincoln Center Barnes & Noble curled up in a ball weeping and muttering something about attractive women and the lies they tell, covered in all of Nabokov’s work.

I hope it is—the little man who runs my brain has taken over and made me send you a note.

Exchange a few e-mails first before taking it offline but do move it offline sooner rather than later.

If you’ve been writing e-mails back and forth for the last four weeks, you’re building this up to be something more than it is and you’re going to be disappointed. If she’s not meeting me after the third message, I’m polite but I move on.

Men, on the other hand, generally feel that online dating is a numbers game; as a result, they usually send out a lot of winks or emails, Gorshow explains.

“However, most men won’t follow up if they get inundated with responses to their initial emails or if they start dating someone,” she says.

It’s just like a bar where sometimes you’ll strike out and sometimes you’ll hit a home run. My friend showed me a ridiculously brief, canned e-mail he was using with girls on OK Cupid, and he was setting up lots of dates with it.

I tried it on Match, and although my response rate was worse, to my surprise it wasn’t by much. However, I would suspect that on a more relationship-oriented site like e Harmony, this might not work so well. It’s amazing how we have almost the same pointers on this type of thing. I usually request a girl facebook me after a message or two. Really let the online dating thing work for you on the first date.

So please tell me it’s true before he makes me do something drastic, and I’ve already been warned that if there are any more incidents like the Swan Lake monkey-banana night of last week I’ll be banned from the store.-Eric The feedback:“This email is creative, maybe too cute. ’ and make it a statement instead: ‘I really find it cool that you enjoy reading Nabokov...’ And instead of ‘The little man that runs my brain....,’ I would simply say, ‘How could I not respond?