That’s what I told myself when I had a mild freak out about that particular birthday. My friends and family threw me a hell of a party in November. You struggle to adjust the cups because it’s just not comfortable. No amount of shimmying or jiggling is going to make it work. I think we were trying to pretend we were the perfect fit for a long time. For me, I didn’t realize we were in trouble, because I was just trying to be happy. Somewhere in the process of trying to make it work – I lost myself. You kind of adopt your partner’s philosophies on things, whether they are yours or not. However, although remarried individuals tend to have better health than individuals who do not repartner, they still generally have worse health than individuals who have remained continuously married.

"It makes you seem more like his mother—not someone he can have fun with, or, if you do it often enough, wants to be around." Even if you're naysaying for your guy's own good, try to compromise: Maybe he can have a Harley if he promises to always wear a helmet. It's sneaky, but less destructive than getting on his case.4. Don't follow the husband-bashing humor trend, urges couples' therapist Rosalind Sedacca of West Palm Beach, FL. If your husband's pals make Charlie Sheen look like a choir boy, he needs some buddies who'll raise the bar, says relationship coach and minister Don Nations, of Sarasota, FL.

Hear his wants and your marriage may go the distance.3. "If you dig into your husband for every little screw-up or letdown, he'll feel resentful and eventually shut down," says Chicago divorce lawyer Corri Fetman. Resist joking on Facebook about how your favorite basketball fan can't even dribble—and don't rib him in front of friends either. "Confidence and security form the foundation of any marriage," she adds. "If more men had a friend with a solid marriage to whom they could talk, someone who could listen and offer counsel, they'd be less likely to seek a divorce," he explains.

The guy recently got out of a long term relationship (his marriage.) He doesn't need a girlfriend who he has to call every two minutes, or who he feels obligated to go out with every Saturday night.

Be the girl who takes him to cool restaurants, who suggests an interesting museum, who makes him watch one of your favorite movies he's never seen. Help him remember that relationships are fun and enriching.

A year before, I had started a public relations company with a friend. I think that happens a little in every relationship. And when that relationship ends after 18 years, you need to find your new normal. Reflecting back on the last year and a half and knowing most of it wasn’t fun.

That was harder than it seemed and life was complicated. You read about divorce all the time and think, not me, no way. Deal with the pain of a break-up which feels like someone died and learn how to live alone. As I write this very first entry, I have tears in my eyes.

But business was good though and I thought ok…I got this. I was 40, starting over professionally and living alone for the first time.

And all the first “all by myself” milestones come and go.

Being a divorced person for six years, I think I can paint a pretty accurate picture of some of the typical traits I see in divorced men.